Topic: scientific study needed re: The Duke

[unezrider]

hello friend,
this may be the silliest thing i have ever posted. & i'm not exactly sure on how this started, but a heated discussion took place with me & one of my coworkers last week. & we still have not come to agreement on this issue, so i thought maybe i could get a few points of view here as well.
who would win in a fight between john wayne & a vampire?
john wayne being the whole 'duke' persona. the vampire being, well, any vampire. pick your favorite vampire, be it one of those sissy emo vampires from twilight, or whoever. you can even use the guy from sesame street for all i care, & there is no way the duke would come out on the losing end! i say if the two corys could in 'lost boys' & buffy could, surely the duke could too!

[dj]

Put mathematically

John Wayne is greater than Buffy and Buffy is greater than a vampire, therefore John Wayne is greater than a vampire.

Notationally, JW > B, B > V, therefore JW > V

Q.E.D.  Show this to your coworker and tell him he loses.

[Mr.OMuck]

Marion was a right wing dumbfuck who upbraided Kirk Douglas for acting the role of Vincent Van Gogh, who according to him was a cry baby of questionable masculinity. Kirk, ne. Izzy Demsky, who really was tough, and could have kicked Marion's ass told him to get stuffed. So actually any vampire at all could have kicked the living shit out of Marion "John" fucking Wayne.

[eric]

Normally, I am 100% on board with Mr. O'Muck.  But if you ask me, the Duke has an advantage in that he did not father the extraordinarily talentless Michael Douglas.

[Stumblin]

Normally, I am 100% on board with Mr. O'Muck.  But if you ask me, the Duke has an advantage in that he did not father the extraordinarily talentless Michael Douglas.

Dude, Catherine Zeta Jones is totally hot. Anyone who can successfully do that is, by definition, not talentless.
O'Muck takes the Kewpie doll. John Wayne was a talentless fascist in a stetson, woodenly mouthing stilted dialogue and somehow simultaneously managing to stand on a mark.

[dj]

a right wing dumb

John Wayne was a talentless fascist in a stetson, woodenly mouthing stilted dialogue

I'm not a fan of Wayne's politics, but then I'm not a fan of my mother-in-law's politics, either, and I'm very fond of her.   

Wayne was a very intelligent, very talented guy.  When working with a good director and a good script, he was fantastic - check out Red River, She Wore A Yellow Ribbon, and The Searchers to see how good he could be.  Like Fred Astaire, he desperately wanted to break out of the typcasting straightjacket and play a broader range of roles, but the studios wouldn't let him.  In my opinion he played the hand that he was dealt and played it well. 

And he could beat a vampire any day.    

[Doc Brainerd]

Like Fred Astaire, he desperately wanted to break out of the typcasting straightjacket and play a broader range of roles, but the studios wouldn't let him.  In my opinion he played the hand that he was dealt and played it well. 

  

[CF]

Hollywood logic/reality allows a John Wayne to beat Bela Lugosi. But Dracula, allowed all the cunning & viciousness a five hundred year old vampire would acquire beats any human most anytime. 

[Johnm]

Hi all,
Just as an aside, the movie where John Wayne played Genghis Khan was filmed in Utah, because the producers thought the terrain reasonably approximated the look of central Asia.  Unfortunately, they didn't take into account that the site had recently been used for A-bomb testing.  The result:  the director, Dick Powell, dead of cancer, cast: John Wayne, Susan Hayward, Agnes Moorehead, all dead of cancer, a very high percentage of the crew, dead of cancer.  A sobering toll for such an idiotic production.
All best,
Johnm 

[unezrider]

hello friend,
that's a pretty interesting aside, john. i wasn't aware of that. & frankly, this whole discourse has been rather amusing. though personally i have to agree with dj's mathematical assesment 

[eagle rockin daddy]

Two words:

Silver Bullets.

Also, I don't think vampires get cancer.

Mike

[dj]

Two words:

Silver Bullets.

Ok, we've established that the Lone Ranger can beat a vampire.   

[Slack]

Ok, we've established that the Lone Ranger can beat a vampire. 

sometimes scientific study takes a while to bear fruit. 

Johhm, that is sobering - how naive we used to be.

[eagle rockin daddy]

how naive we used to be.

[Slack]

..as in the human race. e.g. to think that radiation could not hurt us.